The Pondering Grapefruit
a blog of moments
I got myself some more plants recently. I had a small jade plant that had been sitting on the piano for quite some time, and it was about time that I got Frank (that's the plant's name) some more friends. So I got him a Lasagna fern (whom I called Larry), as well as some fresh flowers--Tulips that I got from the Brattle Street Florist in Harvard Square.
I had been meaning to get these plants for quite some time, but each time I told myself that I should wait to see if I stay in Boston post-graduation to really invest in more plants. This past Sunday, however, I started to question why I was delaying such a simple happiness to myself, and why, if this is my dream, I was holding myself back from fulfilling it.
And so, after swimming for about an hour at the Blodgett Pool, I stopped by the Brattle Square Florist and got myself a Lasagna fern plant, whom I named Larry, and a bundle of fresh tulips the color of fire and fold. It was so simple, so easy, and the woman who wrapped the flowers for me called me "hon." I brought the plants back home and welcomed them into my little family. Larry sits in a shady corner next to my vanity table, and the tulips are on the kitchen table.
I have dreamed of my future home, how I would decorate it, what I would like to have in it. Part of that dream is to always have fresh flowers on the table and a variety of good quality teas in the kitchen. This morning, I woke up and found myself daydreaming again. I looked over at the tulips and realized that my dream had already come true. Better yet, I made it come true.
It was a beautiful reminder that life's happiness is not in the final achievement of some great goal. Rather, happiness is found in small details of every day life. In other words, happiness lies in the present, and not in the pursuit of a future dream. In fact, I've had a close friend of mine, who was going through hard times in graduate school, tell me that the moment she started school at Harvard for undergrad (this had been her childhood dream), she felt empty rather than happy. I think this suggests that just because you finally become a doctor, or pass that test, or get that promotion, you won't necessarily get what you wanted emotionally out of it.
For me, buying plants was the first step. I am going to get into the habit of incorporating more happiness in the present moment. And when I do, I will post those things onto this little blog, which is probably the second step towards maintained, present-focused happiness, as having a daily blog is also something that I have wanted to do, but for some reason have shyed away from.
Perhaps this means that I, and a lot of people, know what will make us happy. The only thing keeping us from pursuing our dreams is this complex, enigmatic fear of being happy.
What this is, I don't know, but when I figure it out, I will share what I learn.
About this Blog
I have no idea how to describe what my writing is about. I just write. I post when I can, which can be weekly or monthly depending on where the universe is taking me. As for the Grapefruit, my Vietnamese nickname, Buoi, means grapefruit.